You’re referencing the documented phenomenon of male “gay voice.” You know it when you hear it: sibilant s sounds, perhaps a lisp, a melodic sentence flow prone to sonic flights of fancy. I know it’s up to me to decide if I find them attractive and move ahead, but I guess I want someone to tell me that it’s possible that I’m a nincompoop here and that straight men can “sound gay.” Here are my specific fears-that one or both of these men are in denial about their gender preferences OR that I’m passing up on some fantastic men because they are indeed straight. I can’t even tell if I sound homophobic here, but is it homophobic to be a straight woman and not want to date a gay man? See? My brain is a mess. I am not proud of my response, which is to not want to go out with them again. This is kind of a libido killer for me, and it makes my brain spin. I have met two men who would like to date me, and they both are great! And, they both sound completely gay-like, out-of-the-closet, effeminate-speech gay. I recently started dating again and have just recently been confronted by a situation that’s left me scratching my head. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. I’m Afraid My Sex Life Is About to Destroy My Very Public Career My Husband Thinks I Don’t Have Sex With Him Because It’s “Typical” for Married Couples. My Boyfriend’s Strange Habit After We Finish Having Sex Breaks My Heart
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